Growing pains

Well....I've been putting off writing this post. However, I feel I need to cause it's a big thing in my life. In a way in began when I was called to be the primary Secretary. The whole time I was doing it I kept thinking this isn't what I'm suppose to be doing. It wasn't however like the one time before in my life where I felt so strongly that I wasn't suppose to have a calling that I literally couldn't function, so I turned it down and finally felt fine. So I decided to ride it out. turns out it was a very short ride.

I had been hearing things for a long time about ward boundary changes but, in my mind that would never effect me where I live cause it wouldn't make sense. Finally, our stake had it's big meeting. I sat there on the bench with one of my closest friends, our husbands and her son. It was worse than waiting for Christmas when your a kid. Then they wanted to explain something before they got to it. I really didn't hear any of it. Much like the Christmas story before opening presents when I was very young. Finally, they started going through the wards releasing various bishopric members. I should have known something was up when they released brother Bair. Somehow in my mind, he was getting a stake calling. I guess I was that convinced that I knew which part of our ward would change if any.

Finally they finished all that and got to the boundary changes. The anticipation was killing me. I didn't look forward to losing some of my friends that would be taken away. I kept hoping that they would stay and our ward would change and that we would just take on other people. Then it came 9th ward, now Brairgate popped up on the screen. Then the map. My heart sank. I felt like I'd just been stabbed. the map showed our little contrails section removed from our ward, much like a zit or unwanted step-child. I was in shock. They took Robin and her family away from us. Much like a bad example, that I am, I started texting my kids to let them know the results. No, I normally don't text in meetings but, I felt this was an exception. Then it came time for us to stand and sustain our new bishopric for our new ward Cordera. Part of me wanted to rebel and not do it. Yes, I seriously think about what I'm sustaining before I do it. I knew that once I raised my hand to support, that that is what I must do. I looked around and saw the other people from our ward that were popped from the 9th ward standing as well as they named off our new bishopric. That's when it dawned on me I was losing more than Robin and her family. I was losing all these other people that weren't standing. I listened to the names and with much heartbreak and tears in my eyes, I did sustain the new bishopric knowing that I would support them.

The other problem with being put into Cordera Ward was that we'd been in that ward before. Our family had had a hard time dealing with many of the better than thou attitudes. Maybe they just seemed like attitudes because of where we had moved from before living in that ward. After all much of Guam is very poor. I literally had YW in my branch that lived in plywood homes that would fit in my current front room. YW without electricity and running water. The families on Guam though were some of the most beautiful people I had ever met. They were spiritual and giving and I loved them dearly. They didn't take a lot for granted and after living there how could I. So when we moved to Colorado and people would complain that they were over weight or that they didn't have as nice a house as they would have liked, it kinda stung. It made me want to stand up and say "Are you kidding me? Really? Look at what you do have. We are spoiled beyond what we even realize." Anyway, I of course kept my mouth shut and it boiled up and made some with extra high ego seem even more so. After a year we finally moved from there (a whole mile away). Went to 9th ward. True more had financial problems than cordera but, I think my vivid memory of Guam had settled a little to. Don't get me wrong I still know how spoiled I am. Once in a while though I need to sit and really think about it. -----I believe I got off topic, surprise, surprise. -----

what was I talking about? ................oh ya, some of those feeling about people in that ward resurfaced when we were put into it again. So I think part of the reason I'm there is to help me to grow to accept and build bridges to get over the feelings I had/have. I'm trying really hard to go into this new ward if fresh eyes. Of course there are people in Cordera that I think are really awesome as well, and I am excited to finally be able to talk and see them regularly again. Don't get me wrong it still stings even now that we were popped from 9th, now briargate.

There are other things going on in my mind related to this move into a new ward, can't really expand on that right now. I do however know in my heart that there is a reason for us to be put in Cordera, our Heavenly Father has a plan, although much like my kids I may not be happy about it. I will do as I am asked.