Random thoughts going through my mind

I'm sitting here wondering how I could be of more help to the people around me. I read their blogs and here their stories. I find myself truly wanting to say something and help. Problem is I don't know how to go about doing it.

Starting with the most simple of things. Reading about loss in a friends life. How do you respond to that and how do you help. I always feel like if I say/write something it will sound repetitive, stupid or come off as insincere. I hurt for them and want them to know I am there for them should they need me but, I have no idea how to approach such things.

Then there are the things that people write about that show what incredible people they are and shows amazing strength of character. I don't know how to respond to those posts or blogs either. Once again I'm afraid whatever I type will sound insincere, stupid or repetitive.

Finally there are those post that people write that are so personal and full of testimony. These often leave me feeling inspired and oh so happy for them. These people are spiritual giants compared to me. So once again I feel the subject matter is so personal that I'm afraid anything I say will sound insincere, stupid or repetitive.

Sometimes I think it's the way I view myself that makes it so hard for me to even post simple replies to the status' that people leave. I often write a comment but, rarely post it. So if I have a had time doing that how on earth am I suppose to write or respond to things that really matter. I often don't feel like I am even in the same league as most the people I know. I see myself as an uneducated goof. Maybe that's why I get along so well with people my children's age or younger.

Sometimes I think I goof off and seem really weird, in order to compensate for the fact that I'm going to come off as uneducated and or stupid. It doesn't help that I often stutter, transpose words or my brain thinks of things faster than I can say or write them.

I really miss being able to serve and help others. When my kids were in elementary school it was easy to do. I spent just as much time at the schools as the teachers. Also when they were in Cub Scouts and Girl scouts, it was easy to find ways to serve. Up to now I've always had callings that would challenge me and keep me busy. I excelled at these callings and loved them. Now I'm calling less. I was told eons ago that I was going to be released from nursery. It was about the time of the talent show that this came up. So I admitted to a little stress that I was feeling with the calling. For months and months I kept getting told we haven't forgotten about you we are going to release you soon. This boggled me that they would come up and say it for no reason. Granted I was curious. So now it's finally happened it's been well over a month. And I'm wondering why I still don't have a calling. why did they feel the need to tell me so early that I was going to be released? Unfortunately I feel like a worthless piece of furniture most days now. Because I don't have a job (no one will hire me), I don't have a calling (what's wrong with me) and I don't volunteer anywhere (my kids schools don't seem to need me). Hence the reason I feel I want so badly to help people. Have I done any good in the world today? Have I helped anyone in need? If not I have failed indeed. Just wish I knew how to jump in and just help people.